I see nothing but revolutions of the fan. I've had a nice dinner. A little too nice, perhaps. The night air is cool enough. I can sense silent slumbers around me. Nothing has survived the darkness, except the moonlight, the cricket and my thoughts...
I fight my sleep. Do I? There never was any.
Something tugs from within. I wonder what lies within...I hear nothing, I feel it too. Man doth not live by bread alone.
The moonlight,as does the cricket, survives, I surrender; darkness defeats me. This is our story…
4 comments:
After you stating that there never was any sleep, the word 'lies' takes on a double meaning. This is a nice blog, but I'm looking for more!
that wasn't intentional.It does sound good though.:) but my fav line is "I hear nothing, I feel it too"
i think again some problem wid d rhythm.d lines hould hav broken accordin to d mood.as d line'i had a nice dinner'would hav been better if broken into two lines.it should drag a bit as slumber is comin in d next line. den in the next one 'do i'it would hav been better off if broken.as i think.d punctuation should hav been a little better.den i feel too refers to what.that too der is a bit awkward as i thought.bt at last a better piece den d previous one.hope to see more,ppl ll always give comments bt 4 dat de need to hav some original stuff at hand in d first palce.so well done..........
it wasn't meant to be a poem, Uma
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