It’s quite a shock for anyone if I tell them that I am an atheist. The next thing you know you’re looked down upon. It’s never counted upon as a belief worthy of desire. Belief in God—the ultimate tryst with spirituality (so they say) ––is supposedly an exalted virtue. I have been the object of scorn among many of these believers. Perhaps it is the intensity of their belief, or rather the blindness of it or more befittingly, their intolerance. Its not that I never belonged to their cult. I did. Not long ago I was one among them; never the hysterical sort though. I did go through a patch of uneasiness—one of mental turmoil –perhaps one that is so characteristic of adolescents. It is my profound belief that I have emerged unscathed out of this process that is inflictive on every contemporary of mine. More significantly I have reinforced my convictions of the non-existence of God. I’m a born-again non-believer.
I did venture into the concept of God, quietly intensely, I should mention. I believe that I must always transcend the circumstances of my being. Being born into a family that did adhere to a religion was a matter of chance. There was every possibility that I could be born into another religion. A child who has not attained ample development of the faculties of the mind is coerced to conn by rote the verses of the holy book. When he comes of age he has filled at least a dozen forms indicating his particular religion. Thus he attaches an emotional significance to his religion which, I believe, enslaves him for life. He then begins to stratify his acquaintances on their proximity to his point of view. This attitude later leads to grave personal and social conundrums.
I as an individual never do aspire to lead a life of that sort. I believe that by subscribing to a particular religion leaves you biased, bereft of free thought and fettered. It also leaves you vulnerable to trivial social stratifications, to political manipulations. I do not contend that I will forever remain an atheist; the argument is that the first step to self-discovery and of the concept of God is through atheism. Prayer and God should be intensely personal ---something my family taught me and which to my intellect is utterly pleasing.
